Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
