We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You're like the curious george of whores
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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