On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
