I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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