I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
