So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
