sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
