it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
