im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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