your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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