don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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