i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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