Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
