I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
