no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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