So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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