so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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