we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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