yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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