There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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