you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
