so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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