He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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