Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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