i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
