Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
