I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize