i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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