i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
