Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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