I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
