I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
