Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
