I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
