So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize