I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
