I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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