and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
