Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
