last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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