Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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