PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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