Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize