I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
