i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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