this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
