drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
im holly from the hills drunk
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
whose ass print is on the piano?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
God, I missed his penis.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
