Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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