So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize