I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
