i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
