im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
