Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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