I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
