i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
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This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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