yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
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reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
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Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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