It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
