where am i from again
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
