I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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