we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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