is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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